Keeping Your Cool: Settling Disputes

We all play this game for fun. It’s our way of relaxing after a hard days work, a way to relieve some stress. But the greatest strength, as well as greatest weakness of an MMO like World of Warcraft is the huge amount of other real people you play with. There will be a good number of people you get along with, a good number of people you won’t get along with, and a huge amount of people you’ll never get to know. Guilds are usually a “sanctuary” for a player, allowing him/her to log on and have a group of people to talk with who he/she can get along well. But you can’t be bosom buddies with everyone, and even in your guild you’ll have a person or two who you can’t really get along with. Conflicts can always arise.

If you have an issue with another guild member, there’s always officers to be the neutral party in resolving your conflict. But what if your issue is with an officer?

I recently came upon a good article on what you can do if you have a conflict. It summed up your possible courses of action in a handy list:

  • Do nothing. It’s the easiest choice. Keep it to yourself. Don’t say anything. You don’t want to rock the boat. This is something I’ve observed most players doing because they perceive there is too much at risk by doing anything else.
  • Speak to your GM. Have a chat with the boss and see what she says. Perhaps they don’t realize it’s an issue and maybe they can talk to the officer and try to resolve what happened.
  • Speak to the officer in question. Directly confront the officer in question and let them know what they did wasn’t cool. I don’t advise doing this publically. Do it privately in whispers. It has a stronger effect then you might think.
  • Change your reaction. This option isn’t quite the same as the first. This involves a complete philosophy change on your end. Is their offense that serious? Does it really matter that much? What if you changed your reaction to the point where you could tolerate it and ignore it?
  • Leave the guild. It’s fairly self explanatory. Be prepared to leave the guild. If you cannot accept what the guild is doing or if speaking to the GM and the officer prove to be futile, then the last option you have is to change your environment entirely. Not every guild is suited for every personality.
  • (Source: World of Matticus)

    Looking at the list, it seems very solid. That’s pretty much the things you can do if you have an issue with one of your officers. I’m just curious: if you would put a percentage of occurrance behind every option, what would they be?

    I can guess the outcome. 50% for the first option, 50% for the last.

    We keep saying it over and over again. If you have a problem, talk to an officer. Usually it’ll turn out to be an argument over nothing. Perhaps we made a mistake, perhaps you understood it wrong. Whatever the reason, we’re all human beings, never perfect but always willing to sort things out.

    I recently spoke with an officer from another guild. She agreed that “unless you walk up to a person and make him/her talk, you won’t hear anything”, and more often than not you’ll open up a huge floodgate of things they want to talk about. This is what makes me so sad. Why not come to us sooner? Are we frightening human beings?

    Leaving the guild is literally the last resort. The last ditch effort after trying everything else. I’m willing to bet that more often than not, a well-placed conversation will be more effective than a /gquit.

    I want this to be a general shoutout to everyone. If you have issues with another player, not necessarily an officer but anyone: talk it over! I understand you “don’t want to rock the boat”, but if you don’t blow off steam in an early stage, you’ll end up erupting like a volcano. And volcanoes break things.


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